in height, and looked as if he were fifty years old. Both the Vicar and the governess were so repulsive that it is difficult to write about them fairly.

She had been appointed by the local vicar, who was Maria’s guardian. The house had 365 windows, all broken but six, 52 state bedrooms, and 12 company rooms. It is literally true that this cook had a bicycle in the basement corridor, which she used to ride along the corridor, when she had to answer the bell. Consequently she and her governess had to sleep in two bedrooms which still had a bit of roof over them, the governess using one of the smaller drawing rooms to live in, and they had a cook to look after them, who dwelt in the kitchen.

The Rates and so on had used up all the available income, and nobody could be persuaded to buy the place for a school nor for a hospital. They had been killed in an accident, however, and after that there had been no money left, not even enough to live on respectably in a boarding-house, somewhere else.

Maria’s parents had made a desperate attempt to keep the grounds in order. It had been built by one of her ducal ancestors who had been a friend of the poet Pope’s, and it was surrounded by Vistas, Obelisks, Pyramids, Columns, Temples, Rotundas, and Palladian Bridges, which had been built in honor of General Wolfe, Admiral Byng, the Princess Amelia, and others of the same kidney. She lived in an enormous house in the wilds of Northamptonshire, which was about four times longer than Buckingham Palace, but was falling down. Unfortunately she was an orphan, which made her difficulties more complicated than they were with other people. This, however, with the cows, was her only weakness, and she was said to be good at games. Perhaps it was because her ear was good that she detested loud noises, and dreaded the fifth of November. Her main accomplishment was that she enjoyed music, and played the piano well. When she met cows, however, she did not like to be alone with them, and there were other dangers, such as her governess, from which she would have liked to have had a protector. She was one of those tough and friendly people who do things first and think about them afterward. She wore spectacles for the time being, though she would not have to wear them always, and her nature was a loving one. She had dark hair in two pigtails, and brown eyes the color of marmite, but more shiny.

Mistress Masham's Repose by T.H. White